The Life of the Once and Future Preggo Monster

Ok…everyone knows and dreads stretch marks, right? You probably are thinking, “Ugh, my poor belly!” true?

Know this: stretch marks are not for the belly alone.

As of today, I have creepy crawlies (what they look like to me) crawling up out of my underwear. But get this: they’re contained on the sides of my hips! I mean, I look like I have stretch mark undies! I personally believe that the elastic of my underoos are causing them, but of course, no one believes me. Not only that, but I have one bright stretch mark on my left arm near my armpit boob. Why my left arm? Why a stretch mark? Who knows? That is the magic of pregnancy!

At least I’m drinking a lot of fluids and keeping my skin as elastic as possible. Aside from the cottage cheese thighs and jiggly arms (which are normal for pregnancy!), my skin has been really firm and healthy looking!  That’s good, because I really plan on exercising regularly after the babies are born and I’ve got the ok to do so.  Since we’re bound to be broke, I’ve got to entertain myself with what we have!!

Some stretch mark facts:

*They cannot be removed with creams and emolients!  Don’t waste your money on the fancy stuff!  Make sure your skin is moisturized on the inside with plenty of fluids, and continue using your favorite lotion.  I’m partial to cocoa and shea butter lotions and oils, and that’s what I still use.  Every once and again I’ll use Eucerin or a another heavy duty moisturizing cream, but it’s always the standards.  Stretch marks can fade, and depending on your skin type, may look like they disappear, but that’s usually the case for darker skinned folks (like me!)  Don’t get caught up in spending $99.99 for a stretch mark removal system….

* They are a normal part of pregnancy.  Some lucky dames never have stretch marks, but most do.  Just remember, it’s your skin accommodating your new bundle of joy on the inside.  If anyone (especially the never-been-preggos) makes a negative comment about them, just know it’s their ignorance speaking, and at least you have a legitimate reason for the skin folds and sags!

Many people have asked me questions about my plans to feed the babies, and I’ve gotten a lot of advice about the pros and cons of breastfeeding and child rearing.  While this decision is ultimately up to me and Duke, I find it’s a lot more helpful to give people information about the reality of life with twins, instead of arguing with them or letting their words roll off my shoulders (which I’m not so good at anyway!)

So, here is a link to FAQs about breastfeeding twins, and life with twins in general.  Hopefully this will help quash comments like, “Linda, you have to be able to take care of the babies and keep the house clean” and “I don’t want to come over to help make dinner while you play with the babies; I want to play with the babies!”  Remember folks, the first few weeks are about helping new parents and babies, not expecting to be entertained by babies and parents alike.

Forgive me if I sound harsh.  I’ve just been hearing the aforementioned comments WAY too much.  It’s crucial that folks know what I will need and what they want may not jive.  It’s ok if it doesn’t; just know that my needs will prevail over their wants.  Is that too much to expect?

I think there should be a magazine exclusively for the friends and families of preggos that helps them deal with their changing roles in a new mother’s life.  I know quite a few people who could use a subscription!

I haven’t been feeling like blogging much these days. I’ve been pretty restless and not a little manic at times. It’s been tough for me to work on being home and not overexerting myself when I’m so used to overdoing it :). Granted, I’m feeling much less stressed and much healthier, and that’s been reflected in my positive prenatal and ultrasound appointments. That doesn’t completely satisfy my out of control brain, though. Duke says it’s typical enneagram 7w8 behavior, and while I agree with him, it still doesn’t quell the occasional nutso outbursts or multi-day rants.

I wonder how much of this is hormones, and how much is me without a filter?

Delivery still seems so far off, but I am 26 weeks, and will begin my third trimester at the end of this week. I won’t ask where all the time went, but I am getting a little anxious. I mean, really, I still have three months until my official due date, which seems longer because I don’t have a regular routine outside the house. The babies aren’t even three pounds yet, and I’ve hardly “exploded” in belly size. But, I am starting to think about how I’m going to handle life after delivery, money, space, dealing with friends, relatives and other folks, sleep, dealing with myself…it’s a little worrisome. I already feel like I don’t know who I am anymore, and just hope that somewhere in this being that’s whacked out on hormones and baby aches and pains, there’s still that fire and spark that made me, uniquely, Linda.

This past Saturday, Duke and I had the awesome opportunity to attend the 2nd birthday party of a pair of twins! Believe me when I say it was a most eye-opening and amazing experience.  The twins, an adorable boy and girl, were the first set we’ve had real interaction with since finding out about our babies, and boy were they a sight to see!  So well behaved and loving towards one another…it really made my heart glad to see it was possible to get through the haze of the first few years.

However, what stood out most to me was how important and necessary family, friends, and plain old support will be for us.  The twins’ parents had tons of family attend the party; there were more adults than little kids!  We didn’t even see the twins until a while after we arrived b/c they were at a relative’s house taking naps and getting cleaned up while mom and dad ran themselves ragged getting everything ready for the party.  Duke and I have always talked about moving closer to family one day, and it seems to me that the “one day” may be sooner than I thought.  We’ve got a great life here in Philly, and had a blast the past few years, but, well…it might be time for a change.

So more twin observations…besides being adorable, they have and require TONS OF STUFF!!!  I’m not kidding, folks, a LOT of stuff.  The twins’ home was overrun with their gear, and that wasn’t even the half of it.  It warms my heart and frightens me too.  But, it’s good to know that I can always recycle the clothes and all the gear.  We were fortunate enough to receive some baby clothes hand-me-downs from the party, and I certainly plan on paying them forward when it’s time.

I seriously just lost my train of thought, so I’ll end this now.  25 weeks on Saturday…a few weeks away from the beginning of my third trimester.  My placenta brain syndrome is really kicking into high gear now!

You guys, I am so bloated right now, I want to cut my tummy open to let out some gas.  This is normal for this stage, but wow does it hurt!  It seems the only thing that helps is laying in bed, and yet I still feel the swirling pains.  Duke was worried I was experiencing signs of preterm labor, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.  Either way, if it gets unbearable, I’ll be sure to call the on-call midewife/nurse.  It’s cool that I have two resources…I may call the nurse’s hotline anyway and see if they’ve got any suggestions to ease the pressure.  I’m getting the gas out any way I can, but it seems to replenish itself as soon as I…well, you know :D.

I had my massage today…felt good.  Not as good as last time, but I suspect it’s b/c I’m so much bigger now, it’s hard to get comfy.  Then I went to AC Moore and signed up for a crochet class for tomorrow night.  Hooray!  Something to do while I’m watching baby shows on Discovery Health Channel.  I still haven’t put away the baby clothes.  They are clean, but not folded.  Maybe I should get compartments for the drawers, b/c the likelihood of folding clothes when the babies arrive greatly diminishes

Nice gift idea, drawer organizers, hint hint.

Sheesh, how do you people deal with me? I mean, come on! Here I am, supposed to be letting you all know the 411 on life as a preggo monster, and I can’t even blog on a regular basis?!?! Jeez louise!

You’re all so good to me, and way too kind. I shall make it all up to you right now.

Today, I had an appointment to have an echocardiagram, or an ultrasound of my heart. I was diagnosed with a heart murmur/mitral valve prolapse when I was younger, which caused me to suffer years of discomfort at the hands of antibiotics before dentist appointments. Although I had a test that cleared me of this condition in 2000, my OB wanted to make super extra sure there was nothing to worry about before I go into labor. So, I got that taken care of today!

Duke came with me and was instantly enthralled, not by the cool cross scans of my (very healthy) heart muscle, but by the machinery and technology of the exam. Ah, that’s my geek. But the exam really was cool, seeing the valves and ventricles. Turns out I do have the slightest of a murmur, but nothing to worry about…at least that’s what the tech said. A cardiologist and my OB still have to review the test and make a decision on it; I just hope I don’t need to take antibiotics for the dentist anymore. They wreak havoc on my system.

Now, I know you all have come to know and (hopefully) love my tell-it-like-it-is persona; that’s what birthed this blog! Let me just tell you this about echos…they can really hurt a preggo boob. The tech was excellent, and made sure he got really good, clear scans…by gouging me with the ultrasound wand. I bit my lip and endured it by chanting “good for mommy, good for babies” over and over again, but D-A-N-G! I am still sore. I kind of felt bad, b/c every time he’d get a good position to scan, my boob would shift and ruin the picture. But he got me back for it; oh did he ever!

After that, I came back home and surprisingly did not nap. That’s probably b/c I didn’t get out of bed until 11:30a today. I had such a horrible time sleeping last night (after two days of sleeping-through-the-night bliss), I didn’t really get any sleep until 9 a.m. I’ve started feeling bloated and heavy in my belly, and my cousin thinks I’ve gotten bigger since she last saw me two weeks ago. My lower back is a mess, as is my right hip. I’ve been stretching and yoga-ing, but it seems the change in weather is cramping me up. I’m loving the cooler air, just not the stiffness in my body Yay massage tomorrow! My other preggo buddy who’s due three days before me is struggling too; she’s even got a touch of the stress incontinence. I’m not there yet; hopefully, the Kegels will keep me in check.

Right now I’m washing baby clothes. It’s on my list of “Big Mama Projects” which keeps me busy during the day, and helps get stuff done around the house. It also takes my mind off of my ever growing belly aches and pains. When we bought them, I thought we had a ton of clothes. But now that I’m laundering them, I see there really isn’t all that much there, at least not for two babies! So for all you wonderful people who eagerly await buying baby clothes for us…SHOP AWAY!:) We’re registered at Babies R Us and Pottery Barn Kids.  There are some really cool twin sites I wanted to register for as well, but they don’t have registries.  So if I want anything from those sites, I have to buy it on my own.  (No more yelling at me for baby buys, Cindy! :P)

Let’s see, what else?  Oh yeah, Monday!  That was our fourth ultrasound.  This one was a growth scan to see how the buggers are coming along.  They’re getting big!  They are now about a pound each, with one a few days ahead in growth than the other, but nothing to be concerned about.  Remarkably, they are still in vertex and transverse positions.  They’ve definitely dropped, though, b/c I don’t feel Baby B on my tummy anymore, and Baby A feels like she’s dancing on my bladder.  As they grow, it also becomes harder to discern where one ends and the other begins.  My belly is all babies, and we haven’t seen anything yet.  Hoo boy!  And based on their growth rates, the longer I go, the more likely the chance of delivering two 6+ pound babies.  SCHNOLIS babies, no less!  Have you seen my husband?  I’ll have to get a picture of him and post it.

I’ll be 25 weeks this Saturday.  Can you believe it?  Time is really starting to move now.  I’m considering a childbirth class, but hubby isn’t feeling them.  Granted, he’s got a lot on his plate, and the fact that I have a decent chance for having a C-section (thus, no real labor to work through) makes him wary of spending 2.5 hours in the evening for 9 weeks learning how to birth a child.  I bet he can’t deal with the idea of sitting through a class; I really think he’s got ADD sometimes.  I’ll be honest; I’m more interested in learning the material of the class and going through the motions, so to speak, than believing I’ll need the class to give birth.  I just love learning, is all.  But my insurance doesn’t cover childbirth classes.  Doesn’t that stink?  I wonder if dads can get reimbursed?

Time to switch laundry loads, and get to bed.  My back and head are hurting again.  Too much sitting and blogging to you guys!  More laters…lest I slack once again

I haven’t blogged since Sept 6th! And so much has happened in the interim!

Well, not really. Here’s a recap of the missing days:

Thursday Sept 7th…nothing really memorable, since I can’t remember anything from that day!

Friday Sept 8th…this was a cool day. As part of my health insurance, I am enrolled in a high risk pregnancy program that monitors mothers-to-be for pre-term labor. In essence, I get weekly phone check-ins from the nurses at this company to make sure I’m not experiencing any of the signs and symptoms of pre-term labor AND a home visit from a nurse to assess my condition and teach us about fetal monitoring (aka checking for regular movement from the babies on a daily basis). The home visit was today, and we got a really cool nurse who taught us what to watch out for, what to expect in the upcoming 12 weeks (that’ll put me at 36 weeks!), and we got to listen to the babies’ heartbeats again! What a treat!

Porkchop (Baby A) seems to be “locked in position” on my left side (hopefully still head down), so it was easy to get a heartbeat on her. She was kicking and punching quite a bit, but we heard her heart beat loud and clear (I wonder if she can feel pressure on her, which is why she kicks? Experiment time!) Hamburger (Baby B), on the other hand, was rolling around on my right side. She was moving so much the nurse had a time locating her heartbeat. Mind you, I was getting a bit nervous, because I could feel her moving, but wasn’t hearing anything. But the nurse finally caught her heartbeat for 5 seconds before the baby moved again, and both heartbeats were fine.

Saturday, Sept 9th…just a cool day. We ran some errands, ate some good grub, and watched Duke’s HS football team kick some other HS football team’s behind on ESPN!

TODAY was a relaxing day again. I’ve been noticing my belly getting heavier and it feels like the babies are tunneling down. Now, of course, they aren’t, but the physical discomfort is proof positive that they are beginning to pack on the weight (and I am beginning to balloon again). Indigestion is getting worse, and bladder is shrinking again. But we’re 2/3rds of the way to 36 weeks! If I haven’t delivered by then, bonus, but I’m reaching for the big 36.

I’ll be back in the swing of blogging tomorrow, I’m sure. There’s a lot on my mind, but not a lot of ability to focus at this time. I’m sure you can appreciate why

I like to eat

eat

eat

ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE!

ICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICEICICEICEICEICEICEICEICE!

YUM YUM YUUUUM!

I was seriously dehydrated today. Calf and thigh muscles cramping up and tearing as I walked, toes and feet cramping up, ankles the size of apples (and I’ve gotten sprinter’s legs, aka big thighs, muscley calves and chicken ankles). All I can say is OW! My back is getting in the picture as well…maybe I overdid it today. But I felt pretty good. I’m just a little lightheaded now and have a bit of a headache, but I suspect my hair is tightening a bit. I’ll check that out tomorrow.

Mama belly-kicking has begun in earnest now. Everyday, all day. They trick me sometimes, though. At bedtime, I expect them to act up, so I prepare. But nothing happens until I fall asleep and wake up because Baby B is punching or sitting on my bladder. She’s finally moved from sitting on my tummy back to the right side, hopefully head down. We’ll see next Monday about their positions.

So I’ve gotten some feedback on childbirth classes (thanks Allison! ). If my insurance will reimburse it, then I’m a go! Since I’m enrolled in Aetna’s Moms-to-Babies high risk preggo program, I’ll suspect that they will. And now that there may be a chance for vaginal delivery (GO VAGINA!), I think I’d like to pursue a class even moreso.

You getting all this, Duke?

Um…weird aside…what is up with the sphincter contractions? To be more specific…my butthole is spasming! What is the deal with that?!?!

LINDA: Today’s appointment was kind of a waste of time. I was supposed to have my gestational diabetes screen, but instead I waited in the doctor’s office for almost 2.5 hours before I was seen, and my appointment was about 15 minutes long. Mind you, my screen required that I drink a sugar bomb, then wait an hour to have my blood sugar read. At that point, however, doc decided that it’d be better that I wait till the next appointment to have the sugar test.

When’s the next appointment? IN 2 WEEKS!

Why is this significant? Well, non and never-been preggos, the closer you get to your due date, the more frequent the appointments. I’m already getting monthly ultrasounds because I’m carrying multiple fetuses, which makes for an automatic high risk pregnancy. But now that the prenatal appointments are becoming biweekly, this means more ultrasounds and tests, which means dum dum dum DAAAAAAH!… BABIES TIME IS NIGH!!

Well, more nigh

So the babies are doing well. Heart rates have slowed down to 140 bpm, which is a good sign. It means they are getting bigger and are getting better at regulating their heart rates. Must be all that practice kicking me all day. Not only are they getting bigger, but so am I. Big Poppa will have to take some pics so I can post them, but at 23 1/2 weeks, I’m about as big as a 7 month preggo woman with one baby. Don’t worry, we’ll put up some pics. I look like a short porn star w/some serious gastrointestinal distress

The doctor also eased our minds by assuring a vaginal delivery unless Baby A is breech (feet or butt down); that’s a definite C-section. However, if A is vertex (head down), then we’re going to try for vaginal delivery. Worse case scenario, I get both: Baby A vaginal, Baby B C-section. But we won’t think about that

AND he’s not for keeping the babies in for 40 weeks. I know, I know, the longer they’re in, the better. But, if by 38 weeks they’re still partying in the womb, we’re going to discuss induction. Whoohoo!…I mean…whatever’s best for the babies…

What we will think about is whether or not to sign up for childbirth classes. I’m feeling very much that instinct will kick in for caring for the babies, but I am really mystified by the breastfeeding and pumping…gotta learn me more of that. Infant CPR sounds good too. I’m thinking I really want to sign up for classes for the camaraderie of other preggos, you know? What do you think? Are the classes worth it?

LINDA: Welcome to the first in a series of random public service announcements geared specifically to the novice pregnant or never-been-pregnant women of the world! It is my hope that I can shed some real light, or at least a different perspective on the tons and tons of preggo data that affirms that pregnancy is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a woman, and that she’s going to be ecstatic to be with child for up to 40 weeks! Wheehoo!

Ladies, get ready for the ride!

When you get pregnant, your body changes, not only in the tummy area, but EVERYWHERE. I’m talking developing underarm boobs (I’m not kidding ya’ll), incredible hair growth that is NOT contained to your head, random skin eruptions that are not acne alone, jiggly everywhere, porno boobs (if you’re unlucky :() and yes, my all-time favorite, SKIN RASHES and random infections!!! Sounds fun? Sounds gross! But you know what, it’s all natural. You see, the insane amounts of hormones your new baby’s placenta produces is concerned with keeping li’l swee’ pea alive and healthy…period. What happens to you is completely irrelevant. As long as your heart keeps pumping, baby placenta is happy, which means baby is happy. Your happiness? Well, that comes later…much later…like 18 years later…

What does all this mean to me? It means I’m so excited to be starting my family with a bang, but am SO OVER these random…skin…conditions. Granted, this experience may be extreme for me, since this is my first pregnancy and I’m carrying two babies, but nonetheless, it’s the experience of a pregnant woman. I could go on, but I want to save some details for the next public service announcement.

Just don’t forget: it’s all worth it in the end!