The Life of the Once and Future Preggo Monster

LINDA: Well, relatively anyway

I had a bit of a time the other evening when I wrote my last blog. It was a rarified sensitive preggo monster moment (well, evening), but I’m good now! Everyone and everything was getting on my nerves. I was even screaming at the cats to stop meowing (yeah, I did that). Poor Duke…such a good man to deal with his little medusa momma with love and care. Thank goodness for the computer game Guild Wars; if he didn’t have that as a form of stress release, he’d be in the funny farm by now.

Life at home is pretty boring. Not for lack of things to do, mind you; it’s just that a lot of those things I can’t do alone. You’d be amazed at how taxing bending up and down is these days. And the need to sit down and put my feet up often diminishes my enjoyment doing other things (like decorating the nursery!) I have a nice list of would-like-to-dos, but of course, most of the hard labor falls on dear hubby. I guess I could frame the artwork I have for the babies’ room…but that means driving to AC Moore. Whew, I’m tired thinking about the trip! I gotta learn crochet and get cracking on the receiving blankets!

Let’s see, what else…ankles and calves are swelling now. I did find a yoga stretching program that doesn’t elevate my heart rate above 120 beats per minute, so I can do that. It’s pretty cool. I’ve done the whole DVD once this week, and will try again tomorrow. It seems like such non-exercise given my athletic history, but it is better than what I was doing before…NOTHING! The back ache isn’t even as bad as it has been in the past, and I only anticipate it getting worse. Duke took some pictures of me yesterday and I could not believe how big I really was! I mean, I see my belly and I lug it around, but it’s huge and sticks straight out. No wonder my back is crying all the time! And I’m still in my fifth month! Granted, Saturday will be day 1 of month six, but the babies are barely a pound now! Imagine when they ramp it up to six pounds each! Sheesh, I’m going to be B-I-G. Oh, one more note about the pics…you may think, “aw, she’s not that big…there’s no delineation between her chest and belly!” Did I forget to mention that I’ve more than doubled in my cup size? I look like a natural porn star….

Oh well…at least it’s not a set of sextuplets! Discovery Health Channel is great for “you-think-you’ve-got-it-tough?” pregnancy shows!

LINDA: Why is it that those people who are closest to you, whom you figure would understand you the best and stick up for you through thick and thin, are the ones who most try your patience and rile you up so much you want to commit unspeakable crimes of horrible human savagery against them?

Ah, must be love….

DUKE: Well, our march forward toward preparedness took another stride today, because we teamed up to get the tandem stroller assembled. For the most part it was really easy, except for about five minutes while I pulled my hair out before I realized that the stroller storage space beneath was attached upside-down. Go figure.

We’ve added some more photos to the gallery, so feel free to check those out here.

Yesterday we did some shopping at Lowe’s and found some really cool lamps, which are pictured in the images in the gallery. Linda spent some time working on the mantle over the fireplace, too, and came up with some really cool decorations. The light in the room is very soothing, what with the rainbow colored shades and the lava lamps. Now that things are coming along both Linda and I enjoy the atmosphere of the nursery. We’ve taken to just sitting and chatting or reading in the room whenever there’s nothing specifically going on.

LINDA: There’s definitely a really cool and laid back vibe in the nursery. The soothing lights really help set the mood, and as soon as the temp drops about 20 degrees, it’ll feel a whole lot cooler as well! There’s still a bit to get done, like laundry, vacuuming, office set up and more decorating, but we are really putting our minds at ease by taking care of business now.
But, as always, we welcome all the help we can get!!!

LINDA: WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME BREAST PUMPING LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE MILKING A COW?!?!?! I DON’T WANT TO BE A HEIFER!!!!!

DUKE: Well, she’s exaggerating (and shouting). But here’s the video that inspired her reaction.

LINDA: Watch that video. See if you won’t shout too

LINDA: I did it right today, folks. I stayed in all day, put my feet up, rested, ate my fiber, drank a lot of water, even took a dreaded nap. Nonetheless, I remained constipated, and to top it all off, couldn’t keep my nutrient rich dinner down. Between my tummy being squeezed by babies and trapped gas, I cannot catch a break! I think I’m going to stick to fruit and a liquid diet for the remainder of the week and see what happens.

In other news, I did schedule my echocardiagram to screen for mitral valve prolapse (like a heart murmur), AND a prenatal massage! I hope it helps limber me up enough to embrace some simple yoga moves. If I can get cracking on it, maybe I can get Duke to join me. He’s been suffering some terrible lower back pain on what we conjecture to be prego sympathy pains. I keep daydreaming about how awesome I’ll feel once the babies are born. It may be a fantasy, but that’s why I’m writing this blog…to keep a record of my insanity when I’m (hopefully) laboring (LET’S GO VAGINAL BIRTH!). Thing 1 is currently head down (vertex) and Thing 2 is transverse (laying across) under my ribs; if by delivery time they are both vertex, I’ll have a good shot at a vaginal delivery. I don’t care how “clean” and “antiseptic” a caesarean is, that is MAJOR SURGERY with MAJOR RECOVERY TIME. But, in the end, whatever is healthiest and best for babies, that’s what we’ll do.

Ugh, my tummy is cramping. I hate this part. Gotta wait until my throat is healed enough and tummy is calm enough to ingest something. Thank goodness for cut-up watermelon….

LINDA: Very tired today. Very hot outside. No more outdoor errands for me this week. I don’t think I’m eating enough. I have pains in weird places and a rash under my ginormous boobs. My skin itches, and I’m so hairy now I could be confused for a short Yeti. One of the babies is sitting on my tummy, and she won’t move. The other one shifts on my left side, preventing me from laying on that side. All I want to do is sleep on my back, but I can’t b/c it cuts off my circulation and I can’t breathe.

18 more weeks to go….

DUKE: Yeti?  I married a yeti?  Aw, man, tough break…

LINDA: Today was another crazy, yet productive day. Christie and I did some much needed grocery shopping, as well as other errands around town. The highlight of the afternoon was lunch! We went to eat at New Delhi Restaurant, an awesome Indian buffet place on 40th Street in University City. They have a regular menu, but their lunch and dinner buffet is DEEEEEEEEE-licious! For $7-$10, you can eat like a sultan (or, in my case, a preggo monster pig :D) The jasmine rice, tandoori chicken, naan, lamb tikka…so yummy! Christie and I had been talking about going there since Sunday, and with the restaurant closed on Mondays, we worked up a hearty appetite! There is nothing better than craving a food, and getting it exactly as you wanted, no substitutions. The babies were probably passed out all day with the amount of food and activity I put them through. That just means more antics tonight!

In other news, we put together the other crib and changing table, and are laying out the nursery as we think we’ll have it when the babies come home. Right now, everything’s still unwashed, unvaccumed, unpainted (that’s something to be discussed still), but it’s a lot easier to have things in a spot to move them back to later on. But things are looking good! We have an old a/c we need to dispose of somehow…any ideas how to do that?

Tomorrow, I’ll spend more time indoors. It’s been getting hotter again, and while I felt ok, I’m sure I can find something to do in the cool of my own home. There’s always HGTV marathons with Christie!

LINDA: I am TIIIIIRRRREEEEDDDD today. As if the shenanigans of yesterday weren’t enough, I woke up this morning determined to clean my bathroom and kitchen. Why, you ask? Oh what a silly question…of course it’s because I’m insane! I mean, it’s perfectly normal for a woman who’s 21 weeks pregnant with two very active fetuses to spend her morning stooped over sinks and hunched over stoves, scrubbing and breathing in copious amounts of Kitchen Kleaner, right? RIGHT?!?!? Oh no, one sec…feeling lightheaded again…ok, good now

But I did get the bathroom and kitchen cleaned, with Christie’s help, of course. She’s no joke, though. A drill seargent even when dealing with pregnant women. DAMN YOU, UNITED STATES ARMY!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SISTER?!?! (Oh wait…she was like that before the Army. Ah vell.)

So now I’m doing laundry…my laundry. Because I have so many clothes of so many various sizes now, I’ve decided to wash everything that’s dirty, and pack them away in boxes by size order. And of course, I’m talking all maternity clothes here. You don’t even want to see the mess of my pre-prego clothes and shoes….(Do you? Well, here’s a link to all that insanity.) I’ve decided to sort my clothes and lingerie by sizes, and wear accordingly, if possible. So, for example, I’m rapidly moving from maternity Ls to XLs, so I’m going to set up my closet with all the Ls in the front, and save the XLs for later. I refuse to buy anything else but more underwear and (sigh) bras as needed…and maybe another pair of slip on sneakers (but from Payless!!) Of course, my bras and underwear are already well into the XL range now. These little girls want NOTHING pressing on them from the outside but mommy and daddy…sometimes.
Okeydoke, time to check on laundry and get some more grub. Maybe a yogurt to put me to sleep…like that happens regularly. Hey, I can dream!

LINDA: Maaaan, I tell ya…we did it today. I mean, we kicked royal tushie today. Ok, here’s how it went down…

Yesterday, Duke and I decided to go to Babies R Us, Target, and a bunch of other stores to register for our babies’ stuff. We went to Cherry Hill Mall, which supposedly had the best selection of everything. We got into BrU, got our zapper gun, attended a training…and then all hell broke loose. People, when I tell you we were overwhelmed, I mean Duke was having a fit b/c we couldn’t get any of the NUMEROUS singleton baby items spread throughout the store. He was actually yelling “It’s not my fault we can’t get this s#&$; it’s not fair!” in the store. “I want the Zanzibar collection too, but we’re having twins!” Uncle Teddybear officially lost it.

I, on the other hand, was more calm, cool and collected…until I had a nervous breakdown by the strollers. I mean, come on people, not EVERYONE has single babies! Everyone once and again, multiples hit the scene, and it’s more common now than ever! You’re telling me BrU, the baby store, has only ONE stroller system for two infant carseats?!?! For shame! Of course I want one of the cool orange and blue strollers that jogs as well, but goshdarnit, that ONE seater ain’t gonna work for me, ya dig? And I want to see what I’m potentially getting, not just add it to the registry queue online and hope for the best.

We left BrU rather abruptly and went to lunch. Did I mention this was the fourth time we had been to BrU, and we were STILL breaking out into cold sweats? Yeah, cold sweats. But no matter! We decided to register online. This way, in the comfort of our own cemetary, we could follow our “essentials for twins” list, and get everything we needed registered, badda bing, badda boom.

YEAH RIGHT.

Between websites not loading and not being sure what we were to register for (what is a blanket sleeper anyway?), Duke (once again) snapped. He decreed that we were headed to Delaware Sunday (that’s today), and we would purchase everything on our list ourselves. This way, we’d have the essentials, and if no one got us a thing, we’d be fine.

And that’s just what we did, with the help of soon-to-be Auntie Christie. Two SUVs full of gear and STUFF, and more than NINE HOURS LATER, we got everything upstairs and in the nursery, and even put away a lot of the items. Duke and Christie got a crib set up, and even took a few cute pictures to commemorate the occasion. What a proud papa Duke is already. What a happy mama I am. What a cool auntie Christie is becoming.

HOW FRIGGIN’ TIRED WE ALL ARE!!!

DUKE: I am so glad this shopping thing is all over. Let me repeat that.   I am so glad this shopping thing is all over for now.  After we carried the final boxes up the steps to the apartment, I was about ready to pass out.  We shopped for hours at Wal-Mart, then a couple more hours at Baby Depot, then a couple more hours at Babies ‘R Us.  Imagine this: through the day we had eight shopping carts full of stuff.  And twice the nice people at the store had to carry stuff to the front for us in addition to that.  Christie’s Honda CRV was packed, and the Family Tahoe was packed like a puzzle.  I couldn’t see a thing through the rear-view mirror the whole way home.

While I do think we went a little overboard with some of the items, like the clothes, the peace of mind that comes with knowing it’s all there, ready to go, is an enormous relief.  Now I know whatever emergency comes our way, at least we’ve got all the things we’ll need for being ready for the babies.

Today was the big day…the anatomy ultrasound. Today was the day that revealed our fates for the rest of our natural lives togther. Who would be tormenting mommy’s waking hours and kicking her in her sleep? What sex of child would one day be driving daddy to drink?

WHAT ARE WE HAVING, YOU MAY ASK!?!?!?!

Fine, I’ll tell you! (Sheesh)….

Duke and I are having two little girls. You may applaud now

Check out our Photo Gallery for shots of the babies.